The buzz

 Let's talk about being in love. That feeling that is indescribable but undeniable... you know that sensation that takes your heart, places into a safe haven and makes every moment seem so significant? I don't know what I can really say about love that has not been said before.. but I will try. For me love is that energy bursting sensation that seems to bounce in and out of my chest, that fills my thoughts with gratitude and appreciation. An honest friendship that thrives in laughter, play fighting and connectedness. It is that partner in crime that you are going to conquer the world with and surpass all personal expectations of expecting. It is the letting go and accepting the person as the person is and never waning to change them because whoever they are going to grow into is going to be magic. Obviously, there may be times of frustration, insecurity and vulnerability, but we are only human... these moments are the platforms that allow us the opportunity to get over the bullshit that may live somewhere deep inside of us.
 And trust me.. somewhere down there bullshit lives. My lord, is that shit ever annoying.... particularly annoying when, you thought, you had no real clue that it had been residing there for soooooo long; yet, when it pops it's ugly little face up you know exactly from which it came.... The moment of understanding repression and denial. "Oh, I know you... and now I have to deal with you... gross." I am under the assumption that when your mind is ready to deal with the realities of your personal misfortune the memory presents itself. So, I guess this could be considered positive as there is no way I would want to deal with that junk unprepared!
 Swimming the murkiness of the darkness can be a slow and daunting process; however, once it is done, you've done it and that is powerful. Not going to lie, the process may be scary, it may have a lot of 'feeling' involved with it but at the end of the day it can be resolved. Resilience and determination is part of our human nature, we evolve, we grow and we learn..... And by pampering ourselves with emotional band-aids full of compassion and truly forgiving ourselves while letting ourselves experience whatever emotion we need to live out is extremely freeing.
 Attaining the awareness that we are 'worth it' and that 'we are love' can sound so corny; but when we love ourselves enough and we can believe it when someone tells us the same, I  will take that corny shit any time. Especially, when I get to wake up too that amazing fun loving man of mine.