Change. That shit can just rock up and turn a world upside down... even with the knowledge that change is inevitable, my goodness can it be painful. Even if a situation does not directly affect you it can affect so many aspects of your life.... and when I say you what I am really saying is me. Questions arise, memories unfold, understanding takes place, latching onto hope and deterioration of fixed ideas begin to unravel and the response to this can be emotional. In moments like these people become human. Families become families and the realization of how much each individual means become highlighted. Everyone is something different to someone else, the title may be the same, but the relationship varies. Neither negative or positive just individual. The amazing thing is that the "core person" is known, their intention is felt and their vibration is understood. I am noticing that when situations change it doesn't mean that everything is falling apart, rather it is a new territory being discovered. I am hopeful that lessons that need to be learned are understood, the messages are heard and hearts will be open and forgiving. Each and every one of us has the power to be ourselves and sometimes that is daunting task but in the end that is all we can ever be. The more we understand who we are and what means what to us the more we can be the truth that we seek. As life changes around us, we may not have control but we have the option to be who we are to the people around us. I am thankful that the people in my life are the toilet paper to my verbal diarrhea.
Honour yourself. I had no idea what this meant for the longest time, I mean I could understand the image-or the idea that we are all living beings in need of accepting ourselves- but honouring ourselves?? What the hell. So many words, so many concepts, so many ideas that seem similar enough to the next that one may be dismissed. My mind becomes racked from time to time... then that moment occurs where the distinction between the word settles in. Oh. I see how this works. It comes so unexpectedly and intertwined with a recent experience that the experience becomes the catalyst. A moment of empathy is lived and the understanding of why a phrase or a meaning or an idea came to be in the first place. There is a reason. Back to the point: Honouring yourself. It could be seen as accepting yourself, listening to yourself, being aware of how you feel, understanding the reasons why you may be experiencing a particular sensation but it is mildly different. Honouring oneself is the capability to respect the variety of sensations, thoughts and experiences you are going through without trying to alter, change or mind screw them. Those feelings are just as valid as any other one. For example.... I find having intense negative feelings towards a person very difficult to handle, if someone belittles me I shrink. If I feel bullied I am intimidated and I try to make the situation light - I remove myself because I must be the problem. When in all actuality I have just as much right to be existing as anyone else. I find that I repress my "negative" thoughts as I believe they are unkind. Harming someone intentionally is unkind, abusing my power is unkind, emotionally manipulating someone is unkind - Existing is not. To feel is how we survive and to think is natural... I hope we all take the time to understand our inner lives, it makes for authentic shared world. If you have a "negative" thought it does not mean it is bad or wrong.. it means you had a thought, so honour it, respect it and see it for what it is.. a reaction to a situation that affected you. Channel that shit and make a sticky moment into something awesome, then create a beat and dance to it!
Carrying your life on your back can be heavy sometimes; especially when you have to carry that crap through subway stations, airports, on buses and through crowds of people. I find that I am very much in the moment when I have my back pack and it is rush hour on the underground.. I become very aware of the people around me, the vibes they are shooting out and the heat that is in the space. A piece of advice: stay close to the exit with your back against the wall: this way a pathway is created and consideration of the daily transistor maintained. It is interesting what is important to you when you are packing your bag compared to what is essential when you are on the road.. the two do not necessarily coincide very well.... Time and time again I tell myself minimal is best, is it light, it is easy.. but I never get light enough. Attachment to belongings and memories that they hold can be captivating when trying to sort out the relevance of what is the most useful. I have succumbed to talking to my belongings and thanking them for their time before letting them go. They were good to me, and appreciation is well deserved. Advice point 2: Books are awesome, but knowledge is weighted. The amount of books, journals, and information accumulated over my travels is intense.. there is a part of me that wont allow myself to become fully immersed in the technological world. To have a piece of information in my hands allows me to feel it's truth, but if everything is just a reflection of light, I have found comfort in the illusion. The senses are a wondrous thing. Advice point 3: Look at your adventure as a piece of magic. Magic is unproven science; one day the unexplained may be explained but until then continue being amazed. I know planes fly in a very logical way.... but come on; Logic is messed up!
The adventure continues, the story unwinds, the characters unknown and the themes a mystery. Like a pirate searching for treasure, a map is laid out but story is all in the ride. It amazes me the connections that are made, the themes that are understood and the realities of personal defaults that arise. Observation of humanity is never boring and be open to the opportunity of witnessing is a trip within its own. When a moment presents itself and the truth dawns the past, present and future fall into place. The moment of AHA's. My Dad has said to me that anxiety is chaos where intuition is calm. Understanig who you are and what part you play allows the choice to stop, reflect and change course. What a beautiful understanding that is. There is always a choice. Only when you know the option is available can the choice be made. Such a powerful moment to know that you are the director of your movie. And in all honesty, people are beautiful, people are kind and this world has so much light in it I can only be excited to see what happens.
Whoop whoop whoop and a holler holler holler... try not to think about what you are going to write just write and see what comes up. The message is clear and simple: you can only be you and no one else. Walk each step that is being walked, breath each breathe while breathing and stop for a minute. Stop to smell the flowers, hear the birds or watch the random person walk into a glass door that they were unaware of. Look about and see what is going on. I promise that you will be amused. The person picking their nose that thinks they are going unseen..... I saw you. The two lovebirds making quick glances at each other... I saw that too. If you look close enough nothing really goes unseen, someone somewhere saw something; which makes for an interesting story. For every viewpoint that you may have, there will be another twist or angle presenting the information in a new light. I may see an event a particular way and I am certain that is the way of it.... only to be side slapped by a convincing and accurate (but different) account of the same situation. The pot becomes fuller. Each view is a percentage that allows for a new degree of insight. Absolute answers are ridiculous, they are always proven wrong. Passion is the drive that motivates an ambition that ignites a desire to uncover. Acceptance is the understanding that each moment creates a moment that can lead to somewhere you may never know. Be prepared for the unexpected and expect nothing.. and in all fairness it wouldn't hurt to have speakers so you have a sound track playing for the journey.
When you finally let go, you realize how tightly you were holding on. Wonder thoughts uncovered through wander day activities. Life of a constant thinker digs out the gold from time to time... which leads to more thinking. If it takes a stronger person to turn around and walk away than it does to fight I am curious about the people that stand up for their beliefs? I personally think it takes a lot of discipline, strength and commitment to hold your ground. I mean, it is one thing to argue for the sake of winning - to be right - but to stand for your belief because it is true to you, can be sooooooooooooo hard. I also understand that just because something is done a particular way does not mean it is the right way for everybody. Everyone has a personality and a way about them that leads them into the direction they are going. Leading by example does not mean that others are going to follow exactly but hopefully an individual is inspired to be their own trail blazer. I think often about the people I care about and I am constantly learning being around them. I start to understand the variety of people that are harbored in this world; I see the differences in approaches, the similarity in need and the adaptations in vocabulary presenting information in a multitude of ways and all I am able to do is observe. Observe the way relationships unfold, how connections are made, how love is expressed and how it is so vastly different. For me to say A + B always makes C is ridiculous. It just does not work that way. When a person is being truly who they are, in the situation they are in, they are being exactly what is needed for them and the people around them. If I needed advice I would probably seek out someone that could challenge me that way I can figure out if I am speaking shit or not.
Understanding the intention of a situation can become so convoluted when mixed with words that sometimes the direction and feeling can become lost. When an awakening experience presents itself it is something that is known and not necessarily a belief that rings true. A belief is something to explain, possibly justify, a knowingness is knowing without the desire to convince. When a message is meant to be found the underlying theme will be understood - and as these messages unveil they act as arrows pointing to the core of the issue. It absolutely stuns me that we can have a visible reactions to emotional memories that have long been experienced but obviously never forgotten.. it makes me wonder what the lesson learned was and if that message had really been understood at all in the first place. I wonder if these particular situations act as reminders when the "new" is losing the gift of the "past" creating a whirl wind of clues of how to recreate the strength that lives within us. Given the opportunity I imagine that most of us would like the opportunity to overcome the bullshit that lives inside of us, that derails our thoughts of content and escalates our self awareness. The more awake we become the more we start to understand that we truly have the power to live in the world we want to live in; which, to me, is a pretty intense responsibility. The option of blame is then eliminated and the acceptance of personal ownership becomes the way forward. The reactions of extremes appear to become questionable as the reality that all we are doing is expelling lots of energy sets in. So I start to think what kind of energy do I want to cultivate? Heavy, dark matter - the kind that drags your arms to a place of lethargy? or a warm, bright light that promotes ease? Give me the ease baby. Screw the dark side, give me the Jedi's! In every person there will be a seed of darkness, there will be a point of anguish and there will live a piece of pain.. but amongst all that garbage the golden tickets live.. the messages, the stories and the reminders telling you that life is life and it is meant to be lived. So fuck it and live it they way you were meant to live it. If you are a Traveler - Travel. If you are a Cook - Cook. If you are a Storyteller - Start telling some stories... and if you got that Natural Buzz - Share it: a lot of people are looking for that natural high.
Bright eyes, cheeky smile and mesmerizing mind. How did I get so lucky? Roaring beats with a grooving dance. I am so happy to be so lucky. For all those times I wondered why, now I understand that I was just waiting. Waiting for the right time, the right moment and the complementary vibe. The air to my balloon, the fizz to my juice and the sweet to my salty; the best of combinations. I finally accept that the hardest things to explain are the easiest to understand. There is no need to try to create the perfect words to something that just is. To build a card castle one needs to lean against the other, providing balance and stability, moving together adapting to the environment around. Some cards may be upside down, some may be facing the opposite direction and the numbers may not be in sequence.. but if you have played your cards right the whole deck will be on hand. The Kings and Queens will be rocking the throne, Jokers will be playing about, Aces will be hiding up peoples sleeves while numbers 1-10 will be laying about. I foresee a winning hand in this pair.
Community: organisms sharing a populated environment. The sectioning of beliefs, ideologies and interests shared by a group of individuals that separate themselves into union with other like minded individuals. A place in which to live that will enable a sense of prosperity and safety. What is community? Is it a blanket of concepts that create a togetherness that permits a sense of belonging? A label that stamps out insecurities by providing the hope that your neighbor will be neighborly? And if this is so what constitutes the quailities of a neighbourly neighbour anyway?
A list of possibilities I feel fit the criteria:
1. The Random Wave - Who doesn't like a ransom wave of I see ya's? 2. The Casual Nod - I see you on the regular bases so I am going to acknowledge that you exist. I have seen you too many times to pretend otherwise and at what point does this become awkward? 3. The Grinner - Work is over and we both got to be pretty stoked to be enjoying some sort of free time. 4. The Door Held Manner - Hell yeah it is grocery day and I really cant be bothered grabbing for my keys. 5. Forgotten Treasures: You may not like what you have any longer but I am pretty thankful you put it in a box and left it in the common areas for others to rummage through. My living room thanks you. 6. The Elevator Snicker: The 45 seconds of complete silence is just too weird when you know someone has something funny to say.
If community is the sharing of a populated space and the cohabitation of all that is, I think that it is completely acceptable to make it as pleasant as possible. We don't need to go out of our way to be fake ass bastards but we don't need to go out of what to be crotchety ones either.
When I think about the experiences I am able to live out on this planet I feel pretty lucky. I don't think that I could ever hate life as it is something that I am bound to live each day so I feel it is somewhat necessary to try to enjoy it, at least I can try. I am extremely grateful that we are capable of laughing and that each laugh is unique to the person cultivating it. If I am being completely honest it took me quite awhile to become comfortable in the sound expelling from my face. It seemed to get stuck somewhere in my throat, explode out at the most impromptu times and occasionally create sounds that are difficult to consider pleasant; however, when I discovered my true laugh it came so naturally that I was wondering how it was ever lost in the abyss of nasal confusion. I wonder if laughter is compelling because it reveals what we find amusing as well as confusing; "I am unsure how to respond to this" so instead I laugh and move on hopefully not offending too many people in the process. World, I am unsure as to why things have been created and designed they way they are, and needless to say, I would not know any different; seemingly, all I can do is create is 'my ideal' from the experiences that have been provided through studying and exploring information as it presents itself. Thankfully, I enjoy exploring and wading through the snippets of material to identify a personal purpose, while being a minute detail in the big picture. The way I see it is all the individual stories make up the whole picture and cover your surface like a mosaic of colour, shapes and sizes. If you are a jungle gym I can honestly say you have the best obstacles around. I am curious what your relationship is like with the space around you? Are you as aware of what is going on around you as what is going on inside of you? Do you have an innate knowing that you are going to be okay? and are you watching what is occurring like our grandparents observe the repetition of generational themes? You have been around a long time and I can only imagine you have the answers laid out everywhere and when we find them is when we are ready to have them. All I can really say is thank you. Thank you for making this place as beautiful, crazy and versatile as it is. It is definitely trippy.
I have begun to realize that there is a never ending amount of information to learn and to understand. Life is never boring... there may be stagnant moments, but boring it is not. I have recently discovered that there is time between what your eyes see and what is actually there so the brain creates an image for you. For instance, our brain has added the green to the grass for us to see. Seriously!! that is some crazy shit!! It is unbelievable (to me) how normalcy is accepted as the way it is, when there are so many reasons and systems as to how it has become. I remember thinking of space when I was a child and intentionally stopping myself before getting lost in the vastness and reality of it. All I could think about was the existence of a wall blocking off the galactic emptiness of space and I remember thinking that if space never ended that meant the wall had to be never ending and if the wall ever ended there had to be something on the other side of it, right?!?!?!... on and on and on my mind would go. I believe most of us have thought similar thoughts when looking up at the stars. Magic. Witnessing a shooting star for the first time was an eerie experience; 3 am walking along a deserted beach, warm air breezing past me, lost in conversation with a girl friend of mine, gazing towards the moon when suddenly a samurai sword cut through the night with such power and fury that I was sure an alien ship had landed. My stomach dropped, my body buzzed with questions and an overwhelming understanding of size dawned on me. We are so tiny. Yet so powerful. We are gifts to this existence, each of us carrying our own purpose and magic enabling sets of keys to open doors that we may never know exist. I feel a purpose to this journey is to overcome our kryptonite and to truly understand, while respecting, our intuition as a guide. All we need to do is accept what we are: Entertaining entities. Add some fun, take away some of the seriousness and play a little more often. I suggest thumb wars as they are an excellent way to forget how old we are and never ever underestimate the power of the dancing groove.
