Scenes of any kind create an atmosphere, they attract individuals from everywhere and provide an environment for us to interact, share and explore. They can be a place where we discover ourselves, become introduced to a new way of living, get lost in a new waves of thoughts and discussions as well as being a place to get lost: an escape. Scenes become a culture, a subculture, and allow us to find the place "our place" that we feel comfortable. Be it the music scene, the art scene, the academic scene, the drug scene.... whatever anyone is involved in can be created into some sort of scene. These words are labels that we have created to distinguish us vs them, a place where rules may make a bit more sense to us, or signifies an ideology that we assume is everyone else's belief. The problem arises when we believe that everyone involved in a particular scene is a particular way. There will be similarities, but we are a diverse group of individuals and individually we are going to have our own take on life, as well the shadow that follows. We tend to hide from ourselves what we don't want others to know. There becomes this acceptance of denial, a belief that if we don't recognize what is happening - that it is not happening... or if we don't want to believe what is happening, we wont. Belief is a funny thing - it does not need to be rational. When the truth begins to get momentum, recognizing and accepting reality can become a very painful experience, especially when we become so attached to the reality we have created for ourselves. We live on a planet with billions upon billions of experiences and there is no way that our individual view is the "right" view. Becoming flexible and accepting to the varieties of experiences is necessary in developing resilience to life itself. When we begin to identify so closely with a scene, a group or a view, we have created a pedestal stating "this, here, is above the norm"... and when that shit falls - we tumble............................. and sometimes we continue to roll into dismay. It is important to remember - it is not the scene it is the person. If a person is doing horrible things, that person is the one doing it. The scene lives as a venue, a space and a place to collect people. People are diverse, independent, curious, lost, dazed and confused - but trying to find something. A place to fit in, a place to explore, a place to enjoy. Whatever, we are looking for we will be searching for it in some way. I guess, something I have had to accept is: just because one person is doing something for one particular reason does not mean that is the reason everyone is doing that same thing. Not everyone works out for the health benefits, not everyone does drugs to escape, not everyone drinks because they are miserable, not everyone laughs because they think what they heard is funny, not everyone helps because they want too, not everyone is eating because they are hungry.... there are an unlimited amount of reasons why we do whatever we do.
A difference is made when we ask questions, rather than assume, and when we see it for what it is rather than what we want it to be. Not an easy task. If you find something that allows you to find yourself, give it the respect it deserves, but recognize that you found that place for a reason and not everyone is involved for the same purpose. Protect those you love, help a stranger, be honest and when we see fucked up shit - take a real look at it and say something.
They say that healing works on a cellular level, that as you get better it reverberates outwards to those around you. That as you heal, all of you is healing, and the history of those before you begin to heal the "story" or "theme" that has been carried through. I have also heard that souls travel in soul groups - those who we are with now have been with us in some other capacity before. Our relationships may have been different, our interactions may have had a different meaning, but a link was there. To some people this may sound strange, unbelievable, based in imagination or completely unlikely - but to others this makes sense.... some of us may have had that feeling that we knew someone before we even knew them, had the sensation of deja vu or a physical reaction that propelled us to steer clear of them for no particular reason other than an internal one. Internal recognition, soul recognition, chemical reaction or emotional response - who really knows, but the message was loud and clear. The frustrating part is when we know within ourselves that something is amiss and we continue forward anyway. Is this our need to be polite, our curiosity of wondering what will happen next, an unconscious desire to rectify something that we are not totally aware of or is it some kind of game we play on our inner voice by trying to rationalize it's experience with our rational mind. For whatever reason, we will learn something. I am not too sure if all of us will look at specific moments as lessons or if we will see them as: betrayals, owed's, expectations, hopes - or as opportunities to blame, differ and escape but however we see them, I hope we find the silver lining that allows us to grow. The more we blame, expect, justify, rationalize, escape, idolize or sleep the more we are giving away our power to something else - be it another person, a feeling, a thought an activity or a fear. Our power sits in our ability to recognize our worth and the worth of everything around us and act in accordance with our inner addition to the bigger picture. Some of us are in better positions than those around us and rather than feel the need to justify or feel guilty about that position, we can accept our fortune, and be something that truly supports and accepts the realities "we" experience. Throughout my life I have experienced immense tension, anxieties, worry, concern and would pray for the happiness of those around me - while trying to be the thing that made them happier. I thought that if I could make them forget, or make them see what they were to me, it would make a difference enough to make them better. I realize now it was never about making them forget, they needed to remember how precious they are and I needed to remember the same. Who am I to tell someone who they are and what they have to offer if I can't accept those parts of myself? Integration is key. And buzz words drive me nuts - but when they make sense they make sense and then I begin to understand the power of the WORD. All it is is a symbol, a symbol to communicate. As we heal our inner shit we allow space for others to heal theirs. When those you love start to heal, and as we see them solidify, we begin to trust that they are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Rather than being the enabler we become a support, that can truly empathize with the struggles of life, without fearing that the worse will happen. Sometimes the worst will still happen. But maybe, if we have taken the responsibility to heal ourselves, we will be able to cope with the worst case in the best way. If anything, taking responsibility of myself has given me the insight of not knowing and the freedom to let go..... most of the time.
