I notice, that more often than not, what is hard to let go of are really the things we need to detach from. It is not as though we are like: "Oh wow, this is a really beautiful relationship I have going on here - I think I better let go of that." Generally speaking, we accept a good thing that is going on even if we may become fearful that it may end... and that is what we need to "let go" of - the fear... but it seems like we attach to that fear with our finger tips clawing in.
I don't understand why we put more energy into what we don't want to happen then what we are actually consciously craving. I guess that brings us to what our unconscious is craving, and the depths of what we actually believe our personal self-worth to be. On the outside we may present as solid, confident, honest and accepting but it could really be a deflection from the soft, self-conscious, defiant and protective part of ourselves. None of these traits by the way are "bad" we just need to be aware of where we are working from.
The question is: When and how do we wake up to that our inner reality? Especially, when no matter what anyone says, we know that whatever is lurking below is going to be painful to remove. I wonder if looking at pain without assuming it is going to be unbearable will allow us to be more prepared for it.
Pain is going to be uncomfortable, it is going to hurt but maybe at the same time it will wake us up - wake us up to what is really important to us, how we really feel and show us that we are strong enough to make it through. I think that it is important to understand that not all of us want that journey or sometimes we cant be bothered to tap into what has been buried away - realizations are an intense thing.
Things we thought we knew change, relationships we had take on new meaning and we get new insight into something that looked one way for a long time and those realizations can be tough shit to get through. Once we see we can't un-see. We can try to cover the new truth with our blanket of denial but to be honest we may need time to grieve our attachments to what we thought we knew.
The longer I am around the more and more I feel I am connecting to this focus point that is within me but lives outside of myself - it doesn't logically make sense but I feel it. I see that all I can really do is to be here and be there for people. The hardest part about people is loving them and loving them enough to know that they are going to experience their life. I can try to protect people as much as I want but, ultimately, I am protecting myself from the fear of what could be and there is no guarantee.
It seems to be that in life, in love and in relationships of any kind we need to be present, be truthful and be to be as honest as we can about the facts, our feelings and about our observations but accept that we can not control an outcome without force - and forcing someone is taking away their right to their choice.
Take a stance for you, your life, your accountability and your actions - lead by example; however, to expect everyone else to follow suit you are going to have to accept that that may not be what they want to do. Let go the feeling of responsibility of someone else's life - they are the best person to live it.
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