Watching the Flow of It

I don't know about you but I definitely know that for me there are times when the soft tone of enchantment gets to me and not in a way that makes me want to rush forward but, actually, retreat back into myself. I wonder sometimes if "that sound" the whisper of "oh breath in and expand your beauty" even makes any sense at all. I am confused, as to the meaning of the sentiment, but at the same time I completely understand. I am not too sure if it is a disbelief that I hold an inner beauty or if I find it cringe-worthy to admit that it lives somewhere deep inside of me. On the other hand I find it so easy to see that beauty in other people... even if I am triggered by the words that come out of their mouth. 

I wonder sometimes if words are tricks or if they are actually the true intention of the message someone is trying to get across. I guess it can be both. There will always be the cryptic messages and there will also exist the blunt forced blow of words that leave you gobsmacked. Those moments of latter live for good while in my head. I may remember the essence of the soft winded angelic whisper of love as it breezes over my mind but trust me.... I will remember the words of a blunt forced fixed idea. That shit is intense. It will wake a person up. 

In those moments I can not decide whether to argue my point, listen to the other point or just stand back as a third person and witness the interaction that is happening between myself and the other. I have these internal conflicts where I question my reasoning for arguing, wondering if that it is just a way to let my ego survive or if it is my duty of Human Care to stand up to the atrocities that I feel are coming out of a persons mouth. It is a real dilemma for me. 

I realize though time and time again you can not call a person an asshole unless they believe they are an asshole. If a person believes what they are saying is "The Truth" I think it may be better to listen and share your observations with the people around you in hopes to gain an insight on objectivity. If science is about creating experiments to identify an outcome, personal interaction is the experiment I will continue to experience. People say the weirdest shit sometimes. 

The more rules that a person creates to engage in the interaction they want to experience the more control they are demanding of that interaction. I am willing to take part in the observational aspect of the "controlled test" but to me that does not identify the floating variables. If one of the first rules of science is to tolerate uncertainty - who knows what the real answer is anyways?

Full of It.

Lost in words, thoughts and symbols. Trying to understand the feeling associated with a thought and an action without attaching to the fear of the reason. For those of us lucky enough to have time to think about our inner worlds, the stream of questions never seems to end. I feel that if we are not living in a moment of crisis - concerned about the basics of shelter, food, water and life - we are provided the space to work on the inner conflict. Smoothing out the waters that flow beneath the everyday. The current that leads us through the everyday.

You take away the immediate crisis and something lurks. The hope is that hope is the base on which everything is building. Hope is the seed that plants in our deepest thoughts - living among the fears that speak to us with a quiet reminder that things can change. To hope that hope still exists is hope within itself - relative optimism. Around me I can hear low vibrations of conversation and I can't help but try to interrupt the frequency with a surge of "but when's". It must become irritating when a person is lost in their desperation to have an outsider perk in with a perceived "optimism" or at times what others my see as a "delusional positivity" but what else can we do? I understand the importance to recognize people where they are at and to acknowledge their individual experience.... but I will not enable the darkness to solidify.

I do not feel that it is optimism that we are seeking but rather we are holding onto a hope that things can change. If the only thing constant in life is change then change is bound to happen and based on that I hope our despairs lift so we can see the world we are all living in.

I feel that everything is a reflection of polar opposites, to such a degree, that the opposite of one action may seem small and insignificant but as you pull your view further and further away you see the connections of the small things leading to the larger things. If we can master the observational standpoint of our thoughts and feelings while being accountable to the part we play in our own life we will have a chance to make it through.... Hopefully.